How we get to know each other?

It took me 2 months of procrastination to start my next chapter of writing. I tell myself I must finished it by Christmas Day. Sadly, mission failed. So, I extended the deadline to 31st Dec 2018. I seriously hate writing but do love reading. On and off, I will recall some of the incidents or things happened in the past or present which I will love to share in this space but it’s just so difficult to put them in sentences. I started to wonder – Has anyone created a mind reading machine in this 21st century? The type that can just read my mind & thoughts and start typing them out in the screen.

For the sake of people out there, whom do not know my Heavenly Father, whom do not know who this Great God is. I desperately yearn to share with you His goodness, His grace, His mercy that He has given me. Despite my bad and weaknesses, He did not ignore me. So here I am; crawling out from my cocoon of laziness, sharing our “How we get to know each other?” chapter.

Before I start, please pardon me for my bad and fading memory of the past. Allow me to say prayer before I continue – Dear Heavenly Father, please restore my memory of the past, memory of how you had come into my life, memory of how my heart had come to you, memory of how you had guided and helped me when I’m lost and sinned. Please put them all in place and guide me in this writing so that I’m able to share our stories in truth. Please give me wisdom to put our stories in interesting sentences so that we shall not bored the readers. I hope my stories can touched some of you somewhere deep in your heart. In Jesus’s Almighty Name I pray, Amen.

I started praying when I’m in my primary school days. In fact, God had come into my life and introduced himself to me way before. My mum reminded me that she had sent me to our nearby kindergarten Christian / Sunday school when I’m 4 years old. I vaguely remembered the storybook that my male teacher shared with us. The names of “Jesus” and “Moses” were in it. I like this teacher very much. He will fetch me from home to school most of the time.

During my primary school days, I was taught by one of my classmates, J, on how to pray. We are good friend for almost 36 years now. During those innocent days, I prayed only when I’m troubled or when I needed help. Subsequently, I started to pray often because God has become my diary, my secret friend. I’m not sure if He is real but I did get my problem solved at that times. Slowly, it became a habit for me to talk to this Secret Friend when I want, when I need and when I’m lost.

From then onward, I started talking with our Heavenly Father, pouring all my thoughts and troubles to him. I wasn’t close to my own father since my teens days. We had an argument and seldom talk to each other after that, even till now. The relationship with God doesn’t feel spiritually to me at that time, I’m not sure how should I put it. Meaning I’m open to Him during prayers because I knew nothing can be hidden from Him. He knows me inside out, my bad thoughts, my jealousy, my envy to others, my lust, my anger and so on. Therefore, I’m not sure why I’m not afraid to put all these negative self of mine in front of him. It’s a different thing when I went to temple for prayers. I must be careful not to express thoughts freely and not to have any bad thoughts as I’m afraid bad things may fall upon me.

During my secondary school days, there was a period that I was drifted away from God. I hardly talk or pray to Him. I cannot remember why. Is because I’m lazy or I’m busy with school work, part time jobs and friends? Or if I started to doubt about Christianity because of this – At that time, a lot of Christians will block the way outside the MRT entrance and distribute brochures inviting people to come to church on Sunday. They were like salesmen hard selling their product. They kept saying how much God loves us and how much Jesus loves us. Although, I prayed at that time but still I do not know how big our Heavenly Father and Jesus love are. Even for someone like me who pray often cannot understand, how can a non-Christian be able to understand the love of God. Some had commented about other religion and I felt uneasy as I think we have the own right to choose our belief and religion. I really feel uncomfortable and dislike the way the Christians gospel at that time. Every time, they approached me, I rejected them.

One day, I was invited to church by my classmates who were in the Boys’ Brigade uniform group. I attended the service and you know what? I fell asleep. The pastor had used a monotone to preach in the morning and that easily led me to my “Lala” land in no time. Thereafter, I did not attend church for a long long time.

The funny thing is I started my conversation again with our Heavenly Father. Not sure why, when and what had me start praying again. Thank God for You did not abandon me even I’m drifting away. Though I cannot see or hear You but You just come to me, strike straight to my heart and make me start talking to You again.

God is my secret friend and I’m not ready to commit myself as a Christian yet. All along I thought Christian must attend service every Sunday and need to be baptize before you are called a Christian and I’m not ready to become one yet. My family is not a “on the ball” believer in Buddhism or Taoism as my mum only go to temple for prayers’ blessings for our family; we do not have any prayers ritual done at home but still I’m not comfortable and not ready yet to let my family know that I’m a believer or want to become Christian. I will follow her to the Guan Yin Temple at Bugis for prayers sometime. That is the only temple I feel comfortable to go. I will always try to keep my blessing prayers for others and tried not to ask anything for myself. I always believe in karma. Whatever you asked, you may need to pay back somehow which of course it may not be like this. I want to be at the safe side in case I’m not able to repay back. Then how?

For years, I continued to talk to God. Not like when I’m in the temple I will restraint myself requesting this and that from Guan Yun, instead I will ask and request for any help from Him, my Heavenly Father, if need, no restrictions. Not sure why I will not feel that I need to return Him anything or I may not be able to repay Him. When our relationship got closer and closer, when I depended on Him more and more, when I knew deeply that He is there for me always; I started to feel a bit guilty. Guilty for not converting or guilty for not being loyal enough. I asked God, I need Him to show me He is real. (Though my inner self believes that He exists, but I still need confirmation. I need to feel something to decide which religion I should go for.)

He did not response. I guess He had left me to make my own decision. I did not make any conclusion – I continued to pray to Him (which I think God knows very well what my decision will be. He knows that I will not stop talking to Him). He is right. I’m already too dependable on Him. I start praying automatically when I need help. I will say thanks repeatedly when I received His grace.

Year 2018 is a challenging year for my family. Despite my sins, I really need to share the goodness and blessings that we had received from our Abba Father. His grace, mercy and unlimited love for me and my family are immeasurable.

MY SINS / HIS BLESSINGS:-

  1. LIES

No different from other human beings, I lied. I lied when I sneaked out to play. I lied when I went over to my hubby house to stay overnight. I lied when I did something wrong and did not dare or too ashamed to admit. These flaws of mine did not keep me away from Him. Whenever He responded to my shouting, I will thank Him with gratitude. If He did not respond, I will not ask why because it’s my mistake that I have to bear. Whatever the case it is, I will get over it and problem will be solved without major issue.

  1. ABORTIONS

I got to know my hubby when I was 15 years old. We got into relationship when I’m 17 years old. He is 5 years older than me. That time should be our high production of hormones that bring the level to peak high. We fell into temptation after almost 1.5 years of relationship. I had my 1st abortion. I was alone in the operation room. I was scared, ashamed, sinful, sorry, regret, guilty and lost. I can only beg for His presence. I beg for His forgiveness again and again. I prayed for my unborn child in tears.

If last time I know how to pray before I fell into another temptation, I’m sure I will not have the 2nd abortion. I always want to use my own strength and own will to fight my devil self. I will only pray when things happened and when the situation is out of hand. For the 2nd time, I’m put through the same emotional trauma when lying on the operation table. I beg for God’s forgiveness repeatedly. I asked for His blessings for my unborn children.

I’m prepared that I may not be able to wake up after the procedure; that God will take me away for punishment. I’m scared and extremely guilty. I cannot see or hear Him. I can only pray continuously and feel the peace He gave me. God did not punish me for my wrong doings. I woke up. The gynae explained that the unborn child was not develop yet. It will be drain out like normal menses.

It took me quite a while to decide to post this. My mum, my in laws and my other close relatives doesn’t know this dark side of my life. Only my 2 eldest daughters, my sister and 3 close friends knew that. I do not dare to tell my mum, even now. She will be very disappointed and feel sad for me.

I have yet to study the Bible. I do not know what will happen to my unborn children and where they will go. I only asked God to take care for me for the time being. I will join them in His Kingdom when the time comes. Thank you, my Dear Lord.

Without Him, I guess I will be soaked in my guilt and will not have peace for a long long time. I also prepared that I may not be able or easy to conceive after these abortions.

  1. EARLY MARRIAGE – GOD HAD GIVEN ME 3 BEAUTIES

Can you imagine after the 2 big mistakes I had made in my life; I still fell into the Devil’s trap again for the 3rd time. I put the blame to the Devil’s power against my Human weak power or maybe – Haha! I should just put the blame to my hubby.

I didn’t expect I can be so fertile; I’m pregnant again. After the repeated mistake, I am blessed with my 1st born child. This time, my hubby, acts like a man. He wanted the baby. He went straight to my house and put a big bomb to my mum. She didn’t know we were together then. Imagine, your all along sensible child, came back and tell you that she is pregnant and going to be married at the age of 19 years old. I shall skip her terror here and share next time. Of course, such moments, I will not bottle up. I prayed and only can prayed for my mum during that time. Thinking back now can still churned my tears out and start rolling under my eyelids.

This is called Shotgun Marriage. How can we get married when our financial are not stable yet? I just started working at that time – no savings. My hubby had no savings too and our families were having financial difficulties at that time. I did not ask Him for financial providence which back then I did not know how. Too big of a request, I dare not ask. Remember, I believe in karma. I do not know what God’s Grace and Mercy are. I only seek for His blessings, peace and comfort through prayers. We are blessed then. My hubby stroke 4D – 1st prize – around S$10K, if remember not wrongly.

We used this money for our wedding gowns, photos, dinner, bedroom furniture and etc. If it is not His blessings – how can we hold a proper wedding ceremony? I will not have any wedding photos; I will not be able to hold any dinner to receive blessings and wishes from our friends, relatives and families. He is the one who made it possible. Thank you, my Great Lord.

I prayed as much as I can for His blessing upon my unborn daughter. I was so worried and afraid that karma will fall upon her because of the abortions. On the birth day of my eldest princess, in between of contractions, I prayed and prayed for forgiveness and give me a healthy baby. The 1st cry made my heart beats fast. The moment she was put into my arms, I was overwhelmed. How can she be so beautiful, so adorable? I started to check her arms, fingers, legs and toes. All are beautifully and perfectly grown. I can feel my tears rolling with gratitude. My feelings are indescribable. I thank God again, again and again. How can He be so good to me even I had sinned repeatedly? Not only I am blessed with one beauty, Jolene. He has given me 2 more beauties, Rachel and Gladys. He never punished me and yet He blessed me with 3 children. Thank you, my Heavenly Father. Thank you. Thank you.

These are only my 1st part of blessings that I’m sharing. I need more time to continue this long list of testimonials. Dear Heavenly Father, in Jesus’s name, I prayed again for your guidance to write our story in truth due to my blurred memory and please give me your wisdom to type out the sentences smoothly, in Jesus’s name, Amen.

I started going to church service only this mid year. I was busy working 2 jobs since I’m married. I know nothing about Bible yet. Only now I know how great and loving our God is; Only now i know about :-

  1. His Patience – I took so long to come to him willingly. In front of others, I never admit myself as a Christian because I’m not baptised; I go temple. I helped my in laws with prayers ritual to other gods. I’m afraid to admit I’m a believer partly because of my family. I always said, “Please wait, my Lord! I shall attend church when I’m no longer need to work 2 jobs; when I have more time to myself; when I think I can commit myself to you.” He waited patiently for me to come and commit to Him wholeheartedly. Now, my Lord. I am here. I announced openly to my families and friends that I’m a believer. Thank you for standing by me, my Dear Heavenly Father.
  2. His Unconditional Love – Back then, I did not understand why the Christians in church are always so high. They always praise how much God loves them and how much they love God. I always feel uncomfortable the way they worship. Only now then I can feel the love myself, only now then I can understand the people in church back then. They must be like me, experiencing His overpowering love and goodness. Without his love, I may not be able to meet the challenges in life; I may not feel peace and security in heart.
  3. His Grace and Mercy – To me, Jolene is my mentor in this spiritual journey of Christianity. Anything, I do not understand how God’s work, I will ask her. He never come to touch me like He does to others but He comes to me through others. Around end last year, my mother in law was admitted to ICU and the doctors asked us to get ready if her condition did not improve that night. We were so devastated upon hearing that. The scene of all the tubings around her make our heart shattered in pieces. I started praying thoughtlessly and desperately to God. I started to make deals with Him – Dear Heavenly Father, if need be, please take me away instead of my in law. Please take away her pain and I shall try to bear for her.” I’m not sure if I can bear the pain if it falls upon me or if I will be truly taken away from my love ones. Will I regret in making such deals? I’m not sure. I can now understand when one is desperate, you can just make deals without thinking about the consequences. I told Jolene about my prayers, she said :”Aiyo! Ma! How can you make such prayers? God doesn’t bring sicknesses. Only devil does that. Satan will come in and grab the opportunity when he knows it. God don’t deal or trade. His Grace and Mercy are FOC.” So only then I know what His Grace and Mercy truly means. They are given out of love, just purely love. You know what, Satan really find his way fast – I’m diagnosed with cancer. Please do not anyhow make deals.
  4. His Goodness – Despite the repeated mistakes and sins I made in this life, He did not punish me; He did not abandon me; He guided me; He helped me. I’m not sure if He forbids but I think He is understanding. If we need to do prayers ritual to our ancestors, I will do it. To me, it’s a kind of respect to our love ones and not praying to any god idols. That day, I accompany my mum and aunty to Guan Yin Temple. My aunty asked, “Ling, you cannot go in, right?” I replied, “Can la. Why cannot? I’m not praying. I can just sit at the chair there wait for you.”, so I went in and started my conversations with God, to make sure that He is not unhappy me sitting in the temple. As I’m still a young Christian by book, I do not know a lot of things in the Bible what can or cannot do but I strongly believe that God only see our heart, our true heart. When your heart is truly His, you will do his work willingly. It doesn’t matter if I participate the prayers rituals or I’m sitting inside the temple, He knows what I’m doing and He knows where my true heart is.
  5. His acceptance – Even though, I’m not baptized, I never attend church and I continue to pray at temple for years. He did not forsake me. Only now I know that He has already accepted me as His precious child way way back.

There are still a long list of blessings I want to share but I shall stop here for now. Subsequently, I will share :-

  • How He had help me to overcome my mild postnatal depression
  • How Blessed I am to have my Husband
  • How Blessed I am to have my colleagues
  • How He had help me after my Retrenchment
  • How He had help me to overcome my Debt
  • How Blessed I am to have my Mum
  • How Blessed I am to have my siblings
  • How Blessed I am to have my In Laws
  • How Blessed I am to have my Daughters
  • How Blessed I am to have my Buddies
  • How Blessed I am to have my Bosses
  • How Blessed I am to have my Sickness
  • What I had done out of the norm for Him

God knows when I will start writing again because heehee ☺☺I don’t know.

I hope for those who had no one and no where to turn to when in need or troubled or when feel lonely and lost. Please start your conversation with our Heavenly Father today. Make Him your friend, your soulmate, your counselor, your pillar, your hope and your saviour, I’m sure your life will be changed thereafter. I believe you will receive the same peace as I do. Faith, Trust and Patience are required to be build over times.

May God Bless You All, In Jesus’s name I Pray Amen.

He will fight the battle for me… I trust.

My Dear Heavenly Father,

Now I would like to pray for myself and will like whoever is reading this to pray for my love ones and to pray for me too this time.

I’m diagnosed with leiomyosarcoma after going through my 1st operation removing my almost 10cm fibroid and uterus through laparoscopic surgery.

I opt not to go through any chemotherapy as the medical oncologist (MO) said it’s only a 50/50 chance. I guess it meant if even with chemotherapy, it still stands a 50% chance that the cancer will comes back. He did not encouraged me to proceed but to leave the decision to me. Furthermore, the reviews that I heard from others on chemotherapy wasn’t that friendly. Thinking of not able to work for another few more months and the side effects of hair drop really put me off the idea of chemotherapy.

I didn’t know that sarcoma is aggressive. I thought is only rare. Unfortunately, within 2 months, it spreaded. It spreaded not because it relapsed but it’s due to the type of surgery I had – laparoscopic or called keyhole surgery.

In order to remove the big fibroid and uterus from the small openings. Both need to be cut into smaller pieces or grind them like minced pork. This is where the risk of keyhole surgery lies. Most fibroid is supposed to be benign and sadly my one is not, therefore by cutting or grinding the tumors will have a high risk of the cancer cells spreading.

Till now, I’m still not sure what are the ways can one test if the fibriod is maglinant or benign before we choose the type of surgery procedure to remove.

My advice : Please ask the doctor if there is anyway to check the tumor before deciding the type of surgery procedure to go for. Unless the tumor is small, they do not need to break them into smaller pcs so keyhole will be a good choice as recovery is definitely faster.

I asked my gynae :”When you operate Ime, doesn’t the outlook of the fibroid tell you if it is a normal or a malignant one, example the colour?” I’m thinking maybe if the colour or appearance of the fibriod shown any abnormality or difference, I’m sure he will not proceed the operation through keyhole. He then replied:”No. The fibroid looked like any other normal fibriod until it was removed and sent for testing. It was found to be maglinant.”

So after operation, I rested for 2 months. I went back to work in Feb’18. I eat healthier than before as I’m a diabetic too. I quitted my 18 years’ part time job so I’ve got more time at night. I joined zumba classes at the community centre and went for free kickboxing classes held near my workplace by HPB. Praise the Lord. I can do the things I always wanted to do.

In April, I suddenly felt unwell. The sharp pain in my abdomen was getting more and more unbearable, I’m not able to walk normally this time. With no choice, I went back to KKH, A&E Dept.

Three tumors were found this time – 8cm size near the big intestine, 4cm size near the bladder and one smaller one at the lymph node around pelvis area.

I was extremely shocked because I didn’t expect it was this aggressive, spreading and growing so fast within 2 months. The 10cm fibriod took years to grow and 8cm took only 2 months. I knew I’m not able to hide from my mother this time.

I thank God again that I am blessed to have such a great and wonderful mum. Always work and take care of our needs, from the day we were born till now, non stop.

I’m sad to say, now at this age of 43, I am going to make her worry all over again. She is a mentally strong woman. No matter how much problems we had given her, she will not collapsed and always stand by us. Her unconditional love for us is immeasurable.

My MO wanted me to go through the chemotherapy first to reduce the tumors before going for the operation. My first 2 cycles of chemo, which consists of 4 times of injections, was indeed a nightmare. I had terrible nauseaneous that I cannot even get out of bed and totally no appetite. I even tried not to take the nausea medicine and start digging my throat to make myself vomit. Hoping this way should make me feel better. I don’t even bother to pray or too sick to pray. I just wanna sleep away the nauseanous as much as I can.

I went to my mum place so that she can take care of my diet. During my 2nd cycle, I had the sharp pain at my abdomen again, it was so painful till l’m not able to sleep.

When the normal pain killers doesn’t work and was given no option, I started to pray. I prayed again and again. I prayed and asked our dear Abba Father to hug me to sleep. No doubt, He is here. Here with me. I thank Him. I thank Him again for He is always there for me. Always. Always here when I need Him. Thank you my Lord.

Praise you, my Lord. This chemo drugs didn’t work for me. The tumors became bigger. The MO changed to another drug which with God’s Grace this drug did not caused me any nausea and pain except slight tiredness and weakness in my legs. I can even go back home myself after each session.

I went back to work part time temporary due to my treatment session. I am again blessed by Him to have such great bosses and colleagues, giving me the time flexibility at work, allowing me to work part time and leave earlier for doctor appointments if require. My colleagues covered me without any complaints, hehe I hope, at least they did not complain in front of me😜. Thank you my Heavenly Father again for your blessing. You have placed all these wonderful people in my life, taking care and looking after me.

With his blessings, my tumors were shrunken after each scan to current around 2cm for the mass one and the others decreased in size too. I just finished my 6 cycles of chemo on the 3rd week of Sep and now I am scheduled for my 2nd operation on 19th Oct.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Though I’m not sure if my insisting to choose a senior doctor is a right choice but I assume you had arrange and support me with this. I had a good and brief talk with the surgical oncologist – Senior consultant (SC) during our first meet up. I thank you again, my Lord for making the change possible from my initial consultant to the SC whom I requested. I thank you for making the arrangement so smoothly without delay.

I thank you again, my Lord for making the change as this is a 7A table procedure, considering a major operation. It is more complicated than I had expected. I will feel more secure in getting a more experienced one.

Therefore, my dear Heavenly Father,

– Please do your miracles on me again that I will not need to go through any ileostomy or cystectomy so no stoma bag will be required. I hope there will not be any complications during the operation.

– Please give your wisdom to the surgeon and all the assisting doctors, surgeons and nurses attending so that they can operate me with confidence and skill.

– Please heal my wounds fast despite my diabetic condition.

– Please ease or take away my pain so that I will not need any epidural analgesia. According to the anaesthetist that it will be inserted through the spine using a fine tube.

– Please Father. Please let me have a speedy recovery and gain back my strength so that I will no longer become a burden to my families and I can continue to provide for them and for You too.

– I hope, my Lord, my Jesus, that you will send the Holy Spirit to come and touch me. You will come and talk to me in my dream during the operation or after the operation. You will assured me that You will be there for me, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Again, my Lord, I pray for Your grace and mercy to be upon me that you will restore me so that I can use this vessel of Yours to work and serve You. I will need Your guidance and assistance as I am a dummy and weakling at times.

Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, my dear Heavenly Father. Thank you for being at my side all these decades. I love You, my Lord. I love you, my Jesus. Thank you for not giving up on me even I’m sinful. Thank you. Thank you, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

My Daily Prayers…

For the past 2 months, I tried my best to pray everyday.

I thank Him for His blessings,

I thank Him for His protection.

I thank Him for the food.

I thank Him for taking away my pain so that I can go back to work a bit.

I thank Him for restoring and preparing my body each day so that I can have an easier upcoming operation.

I pray for His blessings to have a smooth day at work.

I pray for the little devil of me to go away and sleep & never wake up.

I pray that He can take away my laziness, give me wisdom to let the words to flow in place, restore my memory so to continue writing our stories in truth. Just to write all about His goodness, His grace and His mercy on me.

You cannot imagine and will never know that with daily prayers. I am more blessed than ever before.

Thank you, My Dear Heavenly Father. Thank you for everything. Thank you. I love you, my Lord, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Please bless the babies, children and the old folks. Please give them food, shelter and clothes to wear.

– Please save, protect and help them from any abuse, torture and danger that they are facing now. Dear Lord please save and protect them now.

– Please take away their fear, pain and give them the courage and strength to fight.

– Please send your Holy Spirit and help them now. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Lord. Thank you, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Please bless those who are sick and weak, physically or mentally.

– Please restore their health, ease and take away their pain, give them the convenience and comfort they need even they are bedridden or not able to move freely as before.

– Please give them hope and let them realise their true meaning to be able to stay breathing every sec.

– Please give them hope to live, give them and their family the same peace that you had given to me and my family.

– Thank you my Lord. Please bless them. Thank you, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Please ease and take away the pain that my mother in law is suffering now on her knee and legs.

– Please help to remove the water retention and take away the knee pain which is seriously disturbing her sleep nowadays.

– Dear Lord, please send the Holy Spirit to come and work your miracles on her.

– Please heal her so that she will at least be able to stand up again.

– O’Lord! Please work your miracle, come and touch her so that she will know your existence and feel your presence.

– Please work your miracles on my family like you had worked on the family of your followers by experiencing your presence, by knowing your goodness, by believing the miracles and the blessings you had made and given. – Made them your children again, My Lord.

– Please made my mother in law to come n attend the dialect service group one day so that she has the opportunity to feel your existence and know who you are.

– Please allow her heart to come nearer to you with each time Jolene pray for her healing.

– Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, my Lord. Praise You. Praise You, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– I wanna thank you again for my mum blood test result which is maintaining at a normal range.

– Please continue to bless her and restore her health.

– Take away the pain on her feet, her body pain and aches.

– Heal her little thumb that causing her pain and discomfort now.

– Please restore her health and take away her worries. I do not want her to feel stress and trouble over my condition.

– Please give her all the strength and energy as she will be taking care of me. If she feel weak, I will not be able to take care of her now and she will tire herself even more taking care of me.

– Please Lord, please restore my mum and make her strong again as a superwoman. Thank you my Heavenly Father. Thank you, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Thank you again for your blessing on Yun and Joanne. Thank you for releasing them from anxiety and depression state.

– I’m not sure if they are totally free now but I know that they are trying hard not to depend on the medications which is a super good sign.

– Please continue to give them and their family your blessings. Please bless them with good health and peace.

– Please bless Yun’s 76 years old, father in law as he was diagnosed with liver cancer recently. Dear Lord, please heal him.

– Please help Yun to tame down her active boys and guide them through their childhood and even youth so that she will not be so tired and stress at times disciplining them.

– Please come and search them like you have search me since I’m 4 years old, again when I’m in primary school and again when I’m in my secondary days. Never did u abandon me till now.

– I hope one day we can have our weekly gathering and meet up in church on every Sunday.

– Thinking of that, isn’t it great to have our weekly gathering, bonding time with our family and friends on every Sunday.

– Despite our always busy and no time excuse, we can use You, our Great Lord as an excuse to gather our love ones every week at your house church, to worship, to praise and to get to know You together.

– One more added to my wish list now.

– I will try again and again with your blessings to make this happen.

– Please help me, my Lord, in Jesus’s Christ name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Please help Shella physically, mentally and financially as she is now alone taking care of her mum who had cancer and she had given up on chemotherapy.

– Please help Shella to strengthen her faith, give her the strength, energy and health so that she can cope well with her work and her mum needs at the same time.

– Please let the Holy Spirit come and touch her so that she will be reminded that you are always there for her.

-Please release her from her current minor depression state and do not need to depend on medication anymore but dependable only to You, my Lord.

– Please heal her mum and restore her health so that she can see your miracle work on her and return to you.

– Please made her accept that Shella is a Christian.

– Please take away or ease her pain so that she is able to sleep well every night.

– Please also protect her from the food that she eat.

– May God bless Shella and her family.

– Please stay and be with them during this difficult times of theirs.

– Thank you, my Lord. Thank you, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Thank you again for restoring Priscilla health.

– Thank you for listening and answering our prayers.

– She had successfully go thru the surgery and chemo and now left with 3 sessions of radiology.

– Please continue to restore her health so that she will have the ability to take care of her old age mum.

– Please bless her and her family, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Thank you again for restoring my 78yrs old aunty’s health.

– She had went thru her colon surgery removing a maglinant tumor and now taking oral chemotherapy.

– Dear Jesus, as she is now having great pain on her right arm, please heal and take away the pain so that she is able to sleep well and take care of herself.

– Please heal my uncle, from his knee pain and any other muscle pain so that he will have the ability to take care of themselves as both of them have no kids.

– With my current stage, I will not be able to help them much temporary, at least not until I recover.

– Thank you, my Lord. Thank you. May God help and bless them, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Please help me to wake my brother up if I will to invite him to church again.

– He had missed my 2 invitations which was expected.

– I will continue to try if i find any service or testimonial that he will be interested in so Lord please help me to wake him up.

– Please give him a chance to get to know you.

– Thank you Lord. Thank you. In Jesus’s name i pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

– Please help me to discipline, my youngest one, Gladys.

– Please keep her away from any bad temptation or thoughts – online games, lust and suicide.

– Please protect her from any bad company and make her grow and mature to change the bad to good.

– Thank you, Lord. Thank you, My Saviour, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please bless all my love ones and all the people I know and their families, bless them with great health, happiness and peace. Thank you, my Dear Heavenly Father, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

Birthday Celebration with An Old Friend ❤

Late Post – 29 Aug 2018

How long have we know each other?

We knew each other since our secondary school days, at the age of 13 years old, to be exact. 30 years of friendship and that makes it your 43rd birthday today. Rest assured, my friend, we don’t look that old at all. Don’t believe. The posted pictures will prove it. I am 200% sure that we are always young at heart, no matter how old we are going to be and look externally.

I was so excited and had been looking forward to celebrate on this actual birth date of yours. For the past few years, due to our hectic work life and family commitments, we had been celebrating each other birthdays either in advance or rather belated most of the times.

The only disappointment I had was the missing presence of the other which up till today I’m still unable to comprehend what exactly is she thinking.

We didn’t plan much on our to-do list. We went for a sumptuous lunch at a vegetarian restaurant—Sufood @ Raffles City.

We ordered :-

1. 1 x Set Menu

2. 1 x Ala Carte

1.Baked Button Mushroom w Garlic 2.Handmade Rosemary Breadstick 3.Baked Potato Al Funghi 4.Mushroom Charcoal Tagliatelle

Therafter, we had a short photo session with the varieties of self-painted Mickey Mouse at the exhibition area.

Our next stop—Karaoke @ Ci Yuan CC.

My old friend, Jing, you may not know. She is one of them. She is one who plays an important role in my life. She is so called the “matchmaker”. Without her and her brother, I will not get to know my beloved husband. How we met? I think I shall shared it when I come to the “my husband” chapter (which i don’t know when I will start sharing. Haha).

We didn’t sing that much today or rather Jing didn’t sing much when compared to our usual k-session.

Thank God for knowing what I want. I planned to get the selfie stick from my daughter but end up totally slipped out from my mind. Thanks to our Papa. Love you so much. Jing brought the selfie stick which never ever I will expect that. I was so excited. We can now play happily with our phone cameras. Praise the Lord.

Luckily i managed to grab a slice of cake from the SOD cafe at the cc. Borrowed the lighter from the counter. Placed my phone with the selfie stick at the right position and start videoing the birthday singing, candle blowing, birthday wishing and Oops we skipped the cake cutting part. Did we purposely skipped it so that Jing can bring back the whole nice looking piece of chocolate cake to share with her daughter or did i totally forgotten about the last part of our traditional birthday cake cutting procedure? I hope is not the latter cause this will says how “good” my memory is right now.

Why ending is always the most enjoyable moments of our meeting? To me at least. This make me feel that happiest moments are always so short. Be grateful. Be appreciated when we can have such enjoyable moments.

We played almost all the emojis in our phones and captured only the cute ones. So you see. These were our crazy markings of our celebration today.

I want to thank you My Lord. Thank you for putting such a wonderful person in my life. A person whom you can’t find a single fault with. Yes, to me, she is flawless. One with high tolerance when comes to unreasonable situations therefore I hardly see her throw temper, maybe just a bit of complaints here and there when met with problems at work or home. She will try her very best, using her kind, calm, soft-hearted, patient nature, to solve / overcome all these problems.

This is the Jing I know all along. Hahaha… Jing.. please tell me that I’m right and not exaggerating. I’m quite sure about this side of your personality.

I’m happy and envy her that she started to pursue her long time interest now. Music. She started to take up classes, pick up her instruments, completed her ukelele, piano and having fun with the guitar now. Her next target will be cajon which I had asked her to wait for me, wait till I recovered and we shall try that together, though I know I’m a sure dummy when come to music. I cannot follow neither beats nor tunes. Despite I’m a dumb dumb, I still wanna try once in my life, going slightly in depth into music, to use the beats to feel it. I really love it and hope that I will be able to at least master the basics. I admire and envy those that can play so well. Hope that we can make it come true.

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for your blessings to be upon my this beloved friend and her families. Please give her the wisdom, the strength, the energy and bless her with great health so that she will be able to fullfill her duty as a daughter, daughter in law, mother, wife and sibling, whoever is in need, without any regrets. To have the capability and wisdom to solve any future issues without any hiccups. May God bless her, her families and all the people that she know to stay healthy and happy always. Thank you My Lord. Thank you so much, Heavenly Father. Thank you. Thank you. In Jesus Christ name I pray, Amen.

I ❤ you, Jing, my old friend. There are so many things in my list that I wanna do and experience with you. With God’s grace and mercy, I hope I will be able to strike off the items in the list one by one. May God Bless Us All, in Jesus’s Name, Amen. 😘😘😘

Finally…I Start…

blank paper with pen and coffee cup on wood table
Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

6th Sep 2018

Everyday I keep telling myself : “Hey!!! Stop being lazy!! Better start moving your fingers now and TYPE!” I dislike writing or rather I should said ‘I hate writing’. During school days, I either failed my essay writing or passed with borderline marks. Due to my poor writing ability, it is why I took so long to convince myself to start penning down my stories.

My recent exciting life encounters alerted me that I must start writing before it was too late.

Through my eldest daughter, I happened to know WordPress and decided to use it as my diary platform. My memory is deteriorating slowly. I cannot recalled much or remember clearly on a lot of things that I have done, encountered or even how I had felt on things that I had experienced at the very moment.

Lately, I have been trying my best to pray daily asking our Dear Heavenly Father to take away my laziness, restore my memories and to give me the wisdom to write smoothly.

This is where I am now. Thank you My Lord for making it happen. Please…Please make me continue and not start with only five minutes heat. Thank you my Heavenly Father. Thank you, in Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”                                            James 1:5